Struggles of Being a Step Mom
Before I met my husband and his 4-year-old son Charlie I was a babysitter/ nanny for 15 years. I was with several families over the years, so I have helped raise kids from infants to their pre-teen years. Now I know I am not a mom until I have one of my own. But I can’t help but feel like I have been a mother to all these kids and including my own three dogs.
All my friends and family members warned me that being a stepmom will be hard. That it required a lot of patience’s and love. When I met my husband and he told me the shit he had to go through with his baby momma, I prayed on it and hoped it will work out. To this day I still pray, and I continue to have patience because there are day’s where I cry myself to sleep because of how hard it really is. Charlie who is now 5 is the sweetest little boy. And he absolutely adores his father. Unfortunately, we only get him every other weekend and for 3 days. So, every time he comes back to visit, he acts all shy around me because his mom tells him all these lies about me and his father. I am having to work twice as hard to sow him that he will always be loved and supported no matter what his lying one eye stripper of a mother says.
About the mom, she has 4 kids total with 4 different baby daddies. She lives off their child support money and is now dating a new older gentleman who pays for whatever she likes. Anyways she isn’t important to me.
So being a stepmom and having to care and love a child who isn’t yours is the most difficult challenge I have ever faced. I tried to explain it to my husband, but he doesn’t understand. So, I write about it in my journals and thankfully I have friends who I can vent to.
A challenge that I am currently facing with my husband is the nutritional side of it with Charlie. Ever since he was able to get him every other weekend my husband would only feed him fast food, candy, and other junk food. I have convinced him to finally give him vitamin gummies, eat more fruit like apples, grapes, watermelon etc. But he does not like his veggies. I have been asking Charlie to join me in the kitchen lately to help me cook or prepare certain meals so that will get him excited to eat what me made. For example, we made white rice together and he ate the whole thing! I want to incorporate vegetables in there as well, but I need to get him excited to wash them and even chop them up into shapes. My husband on the other hand just likes things fast and easy. So, the struggle has been real with him from time to time.
I have been following other stepmoms on social media and listening to them on how they handle certain situations gives me hope. I know some will say to try to get along with the child’s mom. But this mom is uneducated, stubborn, rude, and sometimes violent. So I would rather keep a distance especially since my husband and I do plan to have another child together in the next coming year.
I would like to use this platform to reach out to other stepmom’s or moms in general to create a safe environment to help one another. Even seek assistance on how to be a better stepmom because some time’s I really feels like I don’t know what I am doing. So please reach out with any questions or concerns and lets help one another.